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Kissburg.com - Ambers Free Dating Blog

Amber Soletti - A woman's view on dating
Amber is a single woman living in New York City. Her blog will focus on being single and dating in New York from a woman's perspective.

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Get the male's point of view - Scott's Blog

I’ll never forget my first speed dating event. I was 32, single, living in NYC and SO unimpressed with the dating scene. I had tried pretty much every singles event out there and then decided to give speed dating a go. I signed up for an event for singles 25-35. Upon arriving, I found myself surrounded by a sea of short, unattractive, socially awkward men. My first date started with the guy saying, “I know you, you’re on Match.com. I emailed you 10 times and you never responded to me. I paid my $40 and now you have to talk to me for 8 minutes.”

That brutal experience was the catalyst for me being inspired to create my own dating service where I could finally meet the type of men I was looking to meet while subsidizing my income at the same time. Instead of offering dating events based solely on age range, OnSpeedDating offers 75+ niche events for singles of all sexual orientations themed around dating “deal-breakers” and preferences. We offer events like:

“Men With Accents Are Hot"
“Rescue Me” for women that want to date firemen
"Femme for Femme"
“Cougar/Boytoy” night
“Hung” for women in search of a big package
“Finance-ista” for women that want to date men in finance
“Non-Practicing Jew” night
“Childproof” for singles that don’t want children ever
And because you can’t teach height, “Size Matters” to date men 6'1" and taller

Why Speed Dating:
At a bar, you don’t know who is single and it’s not always easy to strike up a conversation with a stranger. With speed dating, there's WAY less disappointment and false advertising than the online dating scene, as you get to check out the merchandise up close and in-person.

Chemistry is instant-- it’s either there or it's not. Speed dating gives you the chance to assess having a connection with someone without committing to the time and expense of a full-on date. Plus, you can meet anywhere from 10-25 singles in a night. That's more "dates" than the majority of people go on in a year.

What To Expect:
Most speed dating events take place at bars and lounges, coffee shops or restaurants. Upon arriving you will check in with your event host and receive a name tag, dating pamphlet and pencil. Next, you will be seated at a numbered table with your first “date” of the night. Once the official start bell rings, you will have approximately 3-5 minutes to get to know each other. The dating pamphlets and pencils are to takes notes on your dates so you can remember who’s who after the event.

After 3-5 minutes, a bell will sound signaling the end of the date. At this time, the women will usually remain seated and the men will rotate to the next table. The event will end once everyone has met. You’ll either select your matches online at home after the event, or you’ll turn your pamphlets into your host and they’ll do the matching for you, emailing you the contact information of any interested suitors within 2-3 days after the event.

My Top 10 Speed Dating Survival Tips:

1. Saved By The Bell
Depending on the service you’re using, “dates” can range anywhere from 3-12 minutes. Our events are 3 minutes -- I'd rather leave you wanting more than wanting to slit your wrists. And trust me, there are always going to be some painful dates in the mix -- the ones that have nothing to say, or equally enjoyable, the ones who won’t shut up. I also recommend going with a company that guarantees a minimum of ten dates.

2. Age Ain’t Nothing But A Number
Think about it: are you more likely to hit it off with someone because they fall within your same 28-35 age range, or because they meet your height requirement, enjoy the same pastimes or hobbies as you, and perhaps even share your same political views? We all have relationship "deal-breakers," and those do not make us shallow. We're just discerning singles that know what we want. By registering to attend a themed event (i.e. tall singles, democratic or fitness singles) you will increase the odds of hitting it off with someone.

3. Be Open
There may be an event where you are NOT attracted to anyone in attendance. You may even come to that realization before the event begins. If that’s the case, don’t get negative or shut yourself off to the possibility of meeting someone. I've even seen people that have paid for an event, show up, give the crowd a once over and discreetly leave before the event starts. So maybe you don’t meet your next boyfriend, but you could meet your next boss, wing woman or workout partner. You may even meet “the guy” that will be responsible for later introducing you to “the one.” Don’t close yourself off to the possibilities.

4. Breathe Friendly
Always have gum or mints on hand. You’re going to be seated within close proximity of 10-25 "dates" and talking a mile a minute. You definitely don’t want to be without gum or mints midway through an event if your breath suddenly starts kickin’ (not to mention, it'll come in handy if the guy you're "dating" is in need).

5. No Monologues


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